Thankful for the Hard Years

The Ones That Break You Open and Build You Back Again

I’m a little late posting anything for Thanksgiving, but honestly, this year has taught me that timing is the least important part of gratitude. Some seasons are so intense, so heavy, so stretching that you don’t realize what you’re thankful for until you’ve had a moment to breathe again.

This was one of those years.

This year, I’ve learned to be thankful for the hard things, the things that stretch you, break you open, and force you to grow in ways you never imagined.

The Year That Started With a Freefall

We opened 2025 already on unstable ground. I had just left my job. We bought our very first home, a moment that should have felt exciting, steady, and hopeful. And six days later, Brannon lost his job.

The floor fell out from under us.

I went straight into “fix it” mode, because that’s who I am. When things crumble, I start building. When things overwhelm, I strategize. But while I was holding together our life with everything I had, I forgot that someone also needed to hold me together.

Meanwhile, Brannon fell apart in a way that only someone coming out of the military after years of identity, structure, and survival mode can. And the truth is, neither one of us knew how to transition. We weren’t prepared for the emotional whiplash that happens when the uniform comes off, and real life hits you like a tidal wave.

The Unspoken Hard of Military Transition

People don’t talk enough about how hard it is to transition out of the military. We talk about jobs, benefits, and VA paperwork, but we don’t talk about identity loss, emotional fallout, or how hard it hits marriages.

Someone gave me the best advice before we moved:

“Find a marriage counselor who understands military transitions. Someone who can see both of you.”

I am so grateful I listened. Without that support, I genuinely don’t know where we’d be.

There were moments this year when I wasn’t sure we would make it. But she helped us hold strong and not bury it or walk away.

The Financial Storm That Wouldn’t End

Both kids went back to school after years of homeschooling. There were food banks. Unexpected bills. Arguments about money. Days where every time we caught a breath, something else knocked the wind out of us.

The shutdown took out plan C, which we were depending on. And the last month… I still don’t know how we survived it except through grit, prayer, stubbornness, and pure determination.

We were (are) exhausted. Stretched. Raw.

Becoming a Team Again

We have brought out the worst in each other. We have brought out the best in each other. We were forced to confront what we thought we wanted versus what we truly want together.

Growth is uncomfortable. It’s messy and uncertain, especially for someone like me, someone who carries so much fear of messing up or hurting someone I love.

Brannon has battled with how he thinks he should show up versus what we need from him. Throw in old trauma on both sides and two people used to living parallel lives suddenly needing to become a team again… it was a lot.

This year, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition. Brannon had to face that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. We both had to relinquish control, communicate honestly even when it stung, and grieve the version of life we thought we’d have.

The Power of People Who See You

Through all of this, one thing stands out:

I’m so profoundly thankful for the friends and family who didn’t just tolerate me this year, but truly listened to me.

The people who held space for the messy parts.

The scared parts.

The rebuilding parts.

The ones who saw past the overwhelm and reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

Your support meant more than you will ever know.

Still Choosing Each Other

And even with everything

We’re still here.

Still trying.

Still choosing each other.

Still fighting for better days.

Because these are the years that make or break a relationship.

These are the “for better or for worse” years.

The years that 50-year anniversaries are made of.

These are the years that break you down just so you can rebuild stronger.

A New Year, a New Foundation

I am absolutely ready for 2026.

I hope we never have another year like this.

I hope Murphy is FINALLY done with us (military friends will understand this).

But there’s a quote that’s been on repeat in my mind since January:

“Of course, your life is falling apart; your new one will cost you your old one.”

And I feel that deep in my bones.

Everything happens for a reason. This year has been about letting go, trusting the process, trusting each other, and refusing to give up (which neither Capricorns nor Virgos do easily).

Gratitude, Rebuilt

I’m thankful for growth.

I’m thankful for the hard stuff.

I’m thankful for the people who saw the real us and stayed.

And I’m thankful that this year reminded me exactly why Brannon and I chose each other,

and why we keep choosing each other, every single day.